Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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