elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
