He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
