Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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