if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
