sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
