Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
