Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
