Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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