Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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