Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
now i know why i became what i already was.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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