I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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