Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
