It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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