Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he thought i was a dude.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You were trust falling into bushes
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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