in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
