butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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