What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Im part way to drunk.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
