Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
