I just saw a hot homeless man
someone owes me an orgasm
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I will pee on everything he values.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
