I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
