Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
