I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
