she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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