Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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