i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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