i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
