and next time when you feel me up, do it right
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
