Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
