she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
