You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
