You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Randomize
