Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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