Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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