the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
