I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
