I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Randomize
