I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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