I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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