I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
