too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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