Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
