do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
