Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
