I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
