normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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