did you get engaged???
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
