I heard we made out
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
