i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
