are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
